They’ve been a popular gag gift for as long as anyone can remember: crassly humorous birthday cards that brand their graying recipients as “over the hill” and welcome them to the “old farts club.” But ...

Got candles? Cake? A thoughtful gift? If so, then all that's left is to warm up your vocal chords ahead of singing “Happy Birthday” and signing the card. If you've picked out just the right one, but ...